So here it is, my very first tournament report that is not written on Facebook or sent as an email. As to why you're reading this here and not on Zuckerberg's godforsaken hellscape of enshittification, take a look at my previous writing effort.
As is tradition, I'm writing this two days before I pack my decks and travel to Mummiland for my next tournament adventure. Look forward to seeing the tournament report from that in a couple of months, probably a day or two before the Uthden Troll Cup in November.
The warmup to Slaughter Island III consisted of hours of vibe coding with my new best artificial friend, Claude, to build this website, because I wanted to move tournament organisation and stuff away from Facebook and its accomplice, Messenger. Due to the time spent vibe coding, I managed to uphold another tradition and didn't decide on a deck until the morning of departure. More on the deck itself later.
The morning of departure started as most of my mornings; with kids waking me up way too early, which for once was a good thing, as I still needed to put together a pile of cards that could feasibly turn into something playable. Juggling cards, diapers, lunches for the kids, and most of what I needed for two nights out of the house, I finally managed to pack all of the above plus the kids into the socioeconomic overstep that is our car. I dropped the kids off and headed towards the city hall to spend a couple of hours in service of the city of Bergen. Around 13:36, according to my timeline on Google Maps, I packed my municipal work stuff and headed over to the parking garage with a shopping centre attached, as that was where I had parked my car and also where I was supposed to meet, this year's guest from abroad; Sindre from Voss. Due to short notice, we couldn't get anyone outside of Norway to join, but Sindre is a sailor and has sailed a schooner round the Horn of Mexico or something like that, so I decided that he qualified. Head on over and pay your respects to the Dunce Crew to read his musings about the tournament.
After some messaging back and forth about where to meet, we agreed to meet outside Normal, as I needed salt water spray for my glorious hair. Which was ironic given this weekend's destination. Anyway, salt water spray and toothpaste was acquired and Sindre was waiting for me outside Normal. Greetings were exchanged and we went on our way to the Mecca of Magic the Gathering in Western Norway; Bømlo. I don't recall much of the car trip, but knowing myself, I probably pointed out all the spots on Bømlo where I played Magic as a young lad.
Two and something hours after our departure, Sindre and I were the first to arrive at Brandasund, but were very quickly joined by the rest of the gang and headed over to Skjeret Landhandel, where we met up with Jostein, our water chauffeur for the weekend. After greetings and hugs were exchanged, we stepped into our survival/flotation suits before boarding the Thunder in Paradise of Bømlo.
A five minute boat ride later, we arrived at the beautiful island and lighthouse of Slåtterøy.
Since we knew we would arrive somewhat late, the plan was to play whatever we wanted. After bribing us with a delicious pot of chili, most of us agreed to draft Erik's extended Premodern cube. As is tradition, I ended up with a handful of green big bois and plenty of ways to get them onto the board well ahead of the curve. I can't remember how my deck fared, but I would have remembered if it went very well, so it probably didn't go very well. Beers were drunk, shits were shot and since I am a father of two living alarm clocks, the prospect of uninterrupted sleep became too tempting and I hit the sack well before midnight.
Somehow I must've managed to sire two telepathic alarms, because sometime around 6:30 I woke up as the first one, but no more than five minutes had passed before the familiar sounds of tall old men stretching their limbs out reached my ears and I was joined by the other dads with telepathic offspring.
After some coffee and the compulsory bacon and eggs (note to self: pack tabasco and worcestershire sauce next year), it was time to look over my deck for today's event. I had theory crafted for a while and had four slots that were locked in; 4x Vodalian Mage. Other than that, I was open to suggestions. After some hits and misses, I decided that I wanted to flip Orbs, like a lot of Orbs, so I ended up with putting together a blue black control thing with Chaos Orb's frozen little brother, Winter Orb and other stuff to make sure that any fun in the game belonged to me and only me.
The format of choice for Slaughter Island is, and always will be, the best format in Old School, X-point OS.
Round 1
Since we were an odd number of players, each round had a bye that in addition to three points also got to help with preparing the dinner. The lucky winner in round 1 was Thor. I was paired up against Kay's Dead Guy Ale which splashed for blue cheaty cards. He played Hyppies and Juzzies that beat me to a pulp. 0-1
Round 2
I was paired against Robert's black red Abyss burn thing. Somehow I managed stick The Hive and even though my drones got intercepted by Chain Lightning Bolts they didn't die to the Abyss and in the end I believe Robert succumbed to the death of a thousand/twenty cuts. 1-1
Round 3
In the third round I was paired with Arnfinn who, to the surprise of no one (except maybe Sindre, since he hasn't played any of us before) brought a counter burn thing. However I had more counter things and managed end up winning 2-1. 2-1
Round 4
Next up was my nemesis, Ole-Gunnar, playing Erik's monowhite creation. My repeated Chaos Orbs were no use, as he kept drawing creatures. Each Orb miss pushed him one step closer to victory and after enough misses he had amassed a large enough army that his little critters, that after a Crusade or Two weren't that little anymore, handed my behind to me two games in a row. 2-2
Round 5
I needed to win this match, but I feared Erik's little green men as I knew they had many answers up their little sleeves. However, my deck finally managed to do what I wanted. An early Guardian Beast paired with a Chaos Orb meant that I finally got to have all the fun. I ended up going 2-1 and secured a spot in the top4. 3-2
Top 4
...against none other than my nemesis, Ole-Gunnar. My deck hadn't gotten any better since our last match and his little dudes ran over me two games in a row.
Final
No final for me, but Erik and Ole-Gunnar duked it out with Erik emerging as the winner of Slaughter Island III.
Congratulations to Erik!
After the tournament, it was time for the main course, pinnekjøtt (literal translation: stick meat), better known as rack of lamb, followed by our new tradition; The Wine Walk, where those who want to, bring a glass wine and go for a scenic walk on Slåtterøy.
Thanks for a great weekend, guys! Already looking forward to next year's edition!
All the tournament results plus deck lists can be found here.